Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
