Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
