Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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