Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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