Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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