Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
ugly people sure do ruin things
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
