I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Randomize
