There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
