Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
So much rum. So many feels.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize
