I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
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The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
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All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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