He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
