I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize