its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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