HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
