Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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