I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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