I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
