You smell like stripper and shame
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
