I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize