We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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