i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
