My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize