I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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