Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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