I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize