ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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