but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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