The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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