mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
