I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
