New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
