I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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