Don't make out with my wife yet
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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