My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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