did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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