I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
