Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I would ride that face into the sunset
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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