i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
