Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
