know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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