You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Holy sore nipples Batman
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize