No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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