Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
