I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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