this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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