she was so not down for the gang bang
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize