I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
