is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
