i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
