"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
