we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Randomize
