Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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