Define "chronic" masturbator.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
