I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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