i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Dicks are not precious.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
