They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
