It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
