O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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