Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
