i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
