yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Randomize
