I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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