Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
