MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
