Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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