Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
