Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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